what is dissociative identity disorder

dissociation - the first D in DID

Dissociation is the clinical term that refers to a breakdown of the normal associations in our experience: dis-association. This happens when our conscious mind ‘puts it feet up’ and let’s our subconscious mind run things. Think of dissociation on a scale, some disocciation is perfectly normal and perfectly healthy; if you are driving to work and have done so everyday for a year - you may arrive at the work carpark thinking ‘I can’t recall the last few turns I took to get here’. Lots of people experience dissociation.

Have I experienced dissociation or dissociated before? If you have experienced any of the below, likely yes:

  • felt a sense of numbness in your body

  • felt like you were in a dream, or not quite ‘part' of the present moment

  • felt as though the present moment or even your own body and those around you aren’t ‘real’

  • found yourself somewhere with no idea how you got there, like the driving example above or more intense

  • long periods of missing time

  • felt spacey, spaced out or on another planet

  • feel like you can stare into space without even knowing what you are staring at, for long periods of time

dissociated parts of your consciousness (identity) - the I in DID

Formally known as Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD), psychologists now refer to this disorder as Dissociative Identity Disorder. What is the big fuss about the name change? Well, previously the disorder was conceptualised as a disorder of personality, when in reality it is a disorder of dissociation. What this means, according to the theory of structual dissociation is the following;

  • When we are children our brains are less mature than adults, and are still developing our sense of self (1). We typically develop this cohesive sense of identity around ages 7-9.

  • However, when a child experiences a series of traumatic events, their brains may have difficulty integrating the information of the event and making sense of the event. Especially if they are unable to complete their built in response cycle, seen below, as stages 8 and 9. The child can then get stuck in stage 7, where humans are known to experience dissociation.

  • In order to complete the cycle, move through stages 8 and 9 - a child requires soothing and restorative experiences, typically from a primary attachment figure. Essentially a child requires a sense of safety to recovery and integrate these traumtic experiences.

  • When that doesn’t happen, say our attachment figure is the abuser, those experiences are then ‘sectioned off’, walls are created around those experiences (amnesia walls) and identities manifest themselves to ‘hold' those experiences.

  • These identities are a manifested through a child’s mind, meaning that these identities can be anything a child can think of. For example; if a child is experiencing something where they feel powerless, they may imagine themselves as a fairy or a dragon - a being that could fly away and escape this trauma. This being then manifests to hold onto the trauma and is as real and valid as you or me.

  • Again, to survive these experiences the child is required to wall off these identities, create amnesia between each being. This allows the host/main alter to function in life without having to hold on to these experiences. That’s not to say the host/main alter doesn’t not remember anything, they may very well remember some trauma.

  • So how do I know if I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, DID? For the most part, you can't self diagnose - simply because these other alters (alternate states of consciousness) are purposefully keeping hidden, to protect you from the experiences they hold on to.

  • Here’s where treatment and I come in. Want to know more about treatment? Click here ».